The Qur'an has a RIGHT over you!

I didn't know until recently that the Noble Qur'an, kitaabullah, has a right over me as a Muslim, and I have a duty to perform my responsibility toward it. This right is not that it should collect dust, or be extravagantly adorned on each cover, or that when my son bumps into the bookshelf and it falls to the ground, I kiss it, touch it to my forehead and return it to its station, untouched except in Ramadhaan. Before I go into exactly what our duty is unto the Qur'an, I think its important to understand that (as the Prophet says, peace be upon him:) "The deeds most loved by Allah are those done regularly, even if they are small." (Bukhari and Muslim). So when it comes to pleasing Allah, the Glorified and Exalted, consistency is the key. For example, it is better for our hearts as well as in Gods eyes if we were to pray 3 units of prayer nightly through out the year then if we were to stay up praying one entire night, and neglect the night prayer the rest of the year.

I feel that in my life as well, as I was explaining to my husband; it is better in the eyes of the wife if you bring small, consistent gifts or tokens of your love over time then it'd be if you did one huge act of romanticism... and slacked off the rest of the time. Men tend to pull those kinds of moves, then refer back to them when you start asking for more... the old, "I'm romantic! Remember that one time back when we first got married and I ________?!? Remember?Man, beware of ingratitude, woman. Go make me a sandwich." (fill in the blank with any of the following: cooked you an omelette, bought you a cake (which he proceeded to scarf down), gave you a $5 and told you to buy something nice for yourself...maybe like a pack of gum.)

BUT I digress.

So...without further ado, the right that the Qur'an has over us as Muslims is that it be read at the very minimum, twice a year. Once throughout the year, and once in the month of Ramadhaan.

Today I calculated that if you read 2 pages of Qur'an everyday, you'll finish before the next Ramadhaan inshaAllah.

Now, let me go into why reading the ARABIC version of Qur'an is highly recommended, and why if you cannot read Arabic and are a Muslim, you are advised to learn Arabic by any means. Find someone in your community, dedicate yourself to a class at your local university, read a book, watch videos on youtube at the very least... make an effort. The Arabic language is one of the miraculous aspects of the Qur'an; and take it from me, a native English-speaker, the Arabic language will increase you in your wisdom just by learning the vocabulary and roots of the words. It's an incredible journey.

But at the same time, we shouldn't neglect the tafseer (commentary on), or translation of Qur'an if we don't understand the Arabic, because Surah Sad 38: 29 says “Quran is a book which we have revealed full of blessings, so that you can meditate on those ayahs, and the men of understanding will receive admonition. And Surat al Hashr 59:21 says, "Such are the parables which We put forward to mankind that they may reflect." So we do need to do extra as 3ajami people (non-Arabs) to get the FULL benefit of Allahs word inshaAllah.

Some more inspiration to pick up the much- neglected mus'haf:

The Prophet (asws) said, "Whoever reads a letter from the Book of Allah, he will have a reward. And that reward will be multiplied by ten. I am not saying that “Alif, Laam, Meem” is a letter, rather I am saying that “Alif” is a letter, “laam” is a letter and “meem” is a letter.” So increase your recitation of the Qur’an to gain these merits, and to gain the following merit as well.

In another hadeeth, ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, relates that the Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: Verily the one who recites the Qur’an beautifully, smoothly, and precisely, he will be in the company of the noble and obedient angels. And as for the one who recites with difficulty, stammering or stumbling through its verses, then he will have TWICE that reward.”

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said, ‘The recital of the Qur'an at dawn is always witnessed - the angels of the night and the angels of the day witness it." (Tirmithi).

So in closing, may Allah increase us in our knowledge and love for His religion, and open our minds to the truth, even if it is against ourselves, and may we be increased in sincerity as we read Qur'an and in all our actions.

Lessons Learned

This Ramadhaan taught me a lot about myself..mostly things that needed change. So my self-esteem is pretty low. But all the better that way, I suppose. First, I learned how very little food I can manage on. Some mornings I'd just get up for a date or three and a cup of milk, and I was set for the day! A little sleepy and hungry by maghrib; but thats beside the point. The plates of food I consume daily are unnecessary and probably tip the scale at potentially harmful since I'm addicted to sweets... ;p secondly, I was unable to eliminate sweets altogether and I actually ate them in excess some nights. So my self-control isn't where it should be. Third, fasting makes me a better mother and a better driver! I'm patient, calm, cool and collected with the kids and I'm slow, rational and wise on the road. Not like on a normal day when I'm fast and feisty with both... so that's encouragement for me to fast through the year. Lastly (for this post) I realized how the value of my husband. Beyond the material provision, he really provides a sense of comfort and security in our home; and he wasn't here for the last 10 days- he was on 'itekaf... so I really appreciated that truth during the time he was gone. And there's more, but my kids have to get to bed.

The House

"The house" is the name of the 'strip mall', comprised of Andalus Cafe and Mariam Sofia's (an Islamic book/clothing/gift store) . Andalus Cafe is a ladies-only environment which includes the above cited sections, The Growing- a place for mothers and children to be together, featuring a kid-zone in the middle, and full- supervisal access for mothers who may sit and relax with friends, or with work over coffee. It also has a large flat screen tv in the inner right-hand corner for convenience of the women. The Grown- a kid-free zone, quiet and comfortable for young single girls or university students. It aspires to provide a quiet, comfortable study seating with free computers and internet access as well as plenty of desk space for projects. In the bottom left hand corner is a Morroccan-style seating area with deep, cozy shades of red, purple and orange. Large cushions provide comfortable seating, while a see-through curtain provides a level of privacy and ease for the women there-in. In the top left hand corner, there is a big, comfy couch and table for anyone who wants to sit in the open, observing the comings and goings of the Cafe's guests, and there is a large window for women to see in and out of The Grown space. Connected to this room is a musalla/youth activity room/rental hall which also features a storage room and a wudu' friendly washroom. Guest speakers can be invited, open-mic's, and other activities can be held in this room. Most importantly, it's always open for Cafe guests and outsiders to come in and have a warm, beautiful place to pray in without the discomfort of male-onlookers and the like.

The environment will be earth-tone, deep, rich colors with Islamic sayings (from Qur'an, ahadeeth etc) painted onto the walls. I plan to do this myself; not by my one artistic ability of course, but I'll print the designs and calligraphy from pictures on the internet onto translucent paper and project the image onto the walls where I'll trace them and eventually color them in. I did it for a project once in school, and it worked well. Of the designs, there will be the words 'play with them until they're 7' in english and arabic on the door of The Growing, as were the words of Saidna Ali raa. I'll have soft anasheed playing in the back round as opposed to alternative Cafe music, and the windows will all have thick, bushy curtains on them to prevent outsiders from seeing in.

The Cafe will have lunch, snack and beverage items, including different kinds of international coffee (Colombian, Saudi Arabian, Turkish, Nescafe... etc), a fresh juice/cocktail/smoothie bar, all of the halal candy (I can order online that isn't found in other stores), soft ice cream, and deli-style sandwich options with all-halal deli meats, cheese, chips, pickles, soft drinks and tea cookies/baklava.

I should note that the parking lot is essential to the success of my idea, because Muslim women mashaAllah tend to have kids... and who wants to park 7 blocks away from their destination and lug all the babies and baby paraphernalia inside? Additionally, we all know Canadian winters... enough said. We need private parking.

The entrances have small rooms close to the doors where men may enter, only to help their wives carry things to the door, or maintainence/mail can come to the door without everyone screaming and running. Those entrances should have doorbells that notify clerks at the Cafe counter and in the kitchen so they can go check the door.

Lastly, my favorite part- Mariam Sofia's!!! The entire mall is inter connected, and every area is accessible from inside, but also from separate entrances outside for the convenience of the customers. Mariam Sofia's is an Islamic store that has a knowledge section, featuring books, cd/audio lectures, Video/DVD lectures, Kids educational items and the like; unique and hijabs, and abayas, the styles of which can't be found elsewhere in the city; as well as accessories I find online or in my shopping excursions. One of the most exciting thing about Mariam Sofia's is my plan to have racks of clothing from stores such as H&M, Forever 21, Costa Blanca, Old Navy, Winners, or wherever else I can find good clothes for young sisters- which meet Islamic standards, while at the same time inspire girls to be creative and have fun with clothing; sending them the message 'you can look and feel great while at the same time pleasing Allah swt, and protecting your modesty'. There will be a beautiful changing room with a full-wall-mirror to accommodate customers, and make them comfortable with their purchases.

Another idea I have for the store is to compile 'Visit the sick' bags, with a hadeeth encouraging Muslims to do so on the cart- they will be gift bags with herbal teas, get well soon cards, comfort-pack neck pillows... things like that. There will also be 'new baby' gift bags, 'thank you' gift bags.. and other themes. Also, there should be a section for home-decor items, like unique tea sets (you know how we Muslims do enjoy tea), candles, artwork and other items pertinent to western Islamic culture. I'd like to have a beautiful display case in the front of Mariam Sofia's to appeal to customers, and to exemplify the merchandise we offer in the store; the beautiful clothing and accessories, the home-decor, the knowledge section, all displayed among vibrant colors and decorations in the display case.

The idea here is to create what community architects call a Third Place; with the intention in mind that a person has their work environment, their home, and the Third Place should be a place of enjoyment and recreation. Muslim women need this desperately to keep our daughters, from loitering aimlessly in malls or 'hanging out' wherever their friends may be. We need a secure, blissful environment to call 'The House'.

Dont let your 'rizq' take you from ar-Razaq!!

Last night I was praying Isha after a long period of eating...

and when I thought about praying taraweeh, or at least witr... my back and stomach began to hurt.

I was so full.

And the thought of bending in anyway was not pleasant.

All I wanted to do was recline in all my over-eating glory... and fall asleep.

But then... I thought about how pathetic I am.

Allah ta'ala was generous enough to provide me with a filling, nutritious meal (which I proceeded to gorge in the short time between maghrib and isha)... and now I wanted to repay His Generosity with laziness.

How cheap.

Then I thought 'self, don't let your rizq take you from ar-razaq'

Don't let your provisions take you away from The Provider....

and through my day, I've applied it in many ways to my life.

The beautiful kids I have should not distract me from doing things for Allah (swt) weather it be praying, studying, reading Qur'an...

I mean, sure...they demand attention and its hard to strike a balance between them and this... but I must try.

Then I began to wonder... which is worse... praying on-time without focus (due to kids and their hysteria), or to wait a while, calm the chaos in the house, and pray when I can dedicate more attention to the salaah?

OR I could try my best to prepare the house BEFORE the adthaan comes in, so that by the time it's time to pray, everything is kosher. And I can have the best of both worlds.

Thats it for today.

putting away childish things

I'm trying to maintain the motivation I'd had in the beginning of Ramadhaan. That zeal is wearing off, as I begin wandering back into what is called in Arabic 'lahu', or pass-times. It's the 12th day of the month, and by now I'm taking for granted how short a month actually is. Isn't that the world for yah? After a while, you get deceived into thinking we're here forever.. but we only tarry a day or two and it's all over. And what we've done is done, and there's no second chance. Same thing in Ramadhaan. All the rewards and blessings flow for a duration of 30 days or so... and when it's gone, we spend the next 6 months praying we benefited, and the following 6 months we pray we live to see Ramadhaan next year. Its a time to be cherished an not wasted. I just get desensitized sometimes. This toddler in my house is wild, and sometimes I don't know what else to do with him. I run out of options, so I turn on a movie. It's wrong and I feel the same guilt a diabetic would feel eating a pint of icecream but, hey... it gives me time to write by myself without a kid snatching my pen and writing on the wall. It give me time to read without him ripping the pages of my book; or time to sit on my laptop without him smashing my keyboard to bits; time to pray without him emptying the refrigerator; time to clean up the house without him destroying it behind me. Whats a mommy to do...? Maybe I need some more books for him. A good amount of options so he doesn't get bored.... as he is now.

Homeschooling/Unschooling vs. Traditional School

Been thinking about Yusufss near future in school, or not. I guess since he's been starting to talk and develop his vocabulary so quickly in such a short time, the issue has pressed my mind. First of all, I love the concept of homeschooling. The mother is the first teacher, and the best teacher; who knows and loves and wants the best for her children more then her? No over-worked, under-paid public school teacher who may confuse the blooming flower for a delinquent, thats for sure.

But my issue with homeschooling is... I got married early, before I could get any degree or real education. I have one semester, not even one year of university... and I didn't do well in school until grade 10!! It was all D's, then I converted to Islam and I got on honor-roll, go figure. HA!

Anyway, I'm just a product of a bad environment, how can I raise my kids to be great, when I myself am not great? Kids listen with their eyes.

I was raised watching tv... and I'm struggling to break that habit so Yusuf never develops it. See what I mean? How can I teach him things I myself am learning?

So thats one concern when it comes to homeschooling. I don't know enough.

Secondly, I'm worried about his social life, I guess. Thats just because the only socializing I'd experienced back in my day was a direct result of contact with my peers in school. I guess there is the masjid.

Now, unschooling seems creative, outlandish... and worries me a little, the way it strays so far from the norm. It seems there is no discipline. I think discipline is a healthy thing, in moderation. So far, much of what I've read about it is positive... about trusting the childs natural inclination toward learning and activity; but I think laziness and forgetfulness are also an inclination of mankind that need harnessing. So... I'm not sure about the 'free-for-all' attitude unschooling seems to connote. It's just that I'm insecure about that.

But whatever happens, Yusuf and Mariam will for sure be in either an Islamic private school, a madrasah, or at least if I work up the courage and discipline to homeschool them, they'll be in regular Qur'an classes in whatever local masjid we attend. That's important.

Yusuf has an Egyptian cousin who is about 4 years old, and he just finished Juzu 'Amma, mashaAllah! Competition! That kid knows more Qur'an then me, and Yusuf can't even grip 'bismillah' yet ;)

the ghost of Ramadan past

...wow. Ramadhaan. I had forgotten all about you. Welcome back.
I've never felt its spiritual significance as I do this year.
My first two Ramadhaans were before I even became a Muslim. My first was a result of reading in the newspaper that Muslims had begun to fast that day. I still have that clipping. I was in a delinquent girls school and I had a lot of time to reflect. The result of my reflection bore my admiration of Islam. So when I found out they were fasting, I too wanted to fast! It was not done properly according to all of the fiqh I know now, but Allah awj knew my heart and intentions. I requested to wake up early and eat a small meal of maybe cereal, toast and water or juice. Then I'd fast all day, then break fast after it was dark. I'd also pray during the lunch break we'd had, and I'd spend most of my prayer in sujood... which was the only position I was familiar with in that girls school. I had no access to internet or anything, so my learning resources were limited to a copy of the Qur'an that one of the staff gave me, and occasional new clippings, and Mos Def albums lol. Thats scholarship for ya. So that was my first Ramadhaan. The next year, I was out of the school and living with my mom and her newly-wed husband and every morning I'd wake up at around dawn and eat all I could handle from his kitchen and go to school... come back, and eat dinner. I think it was in October or so, then. At this point, I had internet access... so I'd spend lunch break from school in the library looking up articles written by muslims, a lot of islamicfinder.com stuff... I think I thought I was a Muslim then. I didn't know about shahada (official conversion)After Ramadhaan that year, I started wearing what I thought was 'hijab', which looked like this:

And when people, including my mom, noticed that I wore it everyday... questions began. Eventually, when I was sent to live with a Muslim family, I learned about true hijab... and the fiqh of Islam... and the heart of Islam... (which I'm still learning)... and I said shahada (testimony of faith) ... and Ramadhaan that year was for real. But by the time Ramadhaan came, I was living back with my mom, so I'd actually skip school and take the city bus to my Muslim family every Friday, then stay with them on weekends in order to benefit from khutbahs and halaqas during that month.
Then what happened... hmmm... after that I met who was to be my husband, and the following Ramadhaan was spent entertaining new Canadian friends of his...praying Taraweeh, even though I was pregnant at that time so I couldn't physically strain myself that much.
Then finally,last Ramadhaan we were in Egypt. And I was pregnant again. So I fasted most of the time, but skipped a few days as a result of car sickness while travelling through chaotic Cairo ;p and it wasn't that spiritual I guess because of the nature of travelling. We were so busy and preoccupied. It was a different experience.
SO! This Ramadhaan, I need focus. Spirituality. Dedication. Back to the basics. I've divided my days into hourly tasks... weather it be reading my books, playing with the kids, cooking... taking a nap if I can... and taking it day-by-day is so important. This could be my last day of fasting... this could be my last Ramadhaan. The days should overflow with worship and quiet meditation until I'm in need of sleep. And so it has been alhamdulillah. Good stuff.
So, welcome, Ramadhaan. I needed you desperately.
May Allah benefit us through these days of fasting and denial of shahawat, and make us of the muzahideen. May our dunya benefit from this Ramadhaan as well as our aakhira, one being a means to the other.
Increase us in our knowledge, ya rabb, and our sincerity and our patience.