Every journey of a thousand miles...

Begins with a single step. Today, my first step is to stop. To get out of the rat race, off the social scene, and make myself content with what is in my home. It has caused a lot of strife in my daily happenings, and a bit of turmoil in my marriage. It has pressed my heart daily- the beckoning of the outdoors!!! Growing up, no one asked me about my doings or whereabouts, I used to save a few dollars during the work/school week and stay with friends in the city on weekends, going and coming as I pleased. Being a latchkey kid was more then a pleasure when I was young... but since I've become a Muslim, I find myself struggling (in a positive way) to listen to and obey the Qur'anic injunction for Muslim women to stay in our homes (33:33). When I first became a Muslim, I lived with an AMAZING family who took me in, loved me and provided for me as if I were their own; and I regret admitting that I actually made my 'auntie' (the mother of the home I stayed in) worry quite a bit when I'd wander into the new town after school, or take a random bus trip into the city, not necessarily with full permission. It's like an addiction... but to what? Fresh air? That can be had in one's backyard! I don't know... it must be the people watching... the promise of interaction with strangers, the possibility of learning something new, discovering, opportunity, culture, food... these are usually the things that draw me out of my home. Especially when I was single.

Now, I'm married. I have two beautiful babies (Yusuf is 2 years old, Mariam Sofia is 5 mos), and I still feel the occasional 'call of the wild'. Well, its a little more then occasional. More like every other day. It's a little more difficult now, of course, being sure I have the diaper bag handy, packed with preparations to tend to every possible situation that could and does go wrong, being sure I'll have a private, comfortable place to breastfeed and enough food to pacify myself and my toddler (who has the appetite of a grown lumberjack). These circumstances have certainly put a damper on my free-for-all adventurous lifestyle, but for the better. Now, it's time for me to adjust, which definitely requires Divine Guidance, patience, far-sightedness, and wisdom. So among other things, this journey will be discussed in my future writings.